Almost five

I held you in my lap this morning
even though your legs stretched to the floor

I breathed in the smell of your hair
while you tried your best not to giggle

I kissed the tip of your toes before I put on your socks
even though your feet are long and slender

I rocked you like a baby for just a minute
even though you're not

You can know me or you can know your version of me.

I come harsh, serious and abrasive.
I come insightful, tender and curious.

I can give you what I am but I cannot pretend to be what you want.
I harbor dark corners but I offer a light filled soul.

I don't like sarcasm, play fighting, or digs.

I do like listening.

I will give you the best of me.

I will not waste my time with facades.

In my most reduced form, I am organic, relaxed and easy.



J. Tackett
(Let's be honest...thanks Amanda)

I have run aground.
Despite my dedication to positive thinking, it goes no further than silent words in my closed mouth. My tongue caresses the letters without committing.

I have run aground.
My stomach grows heavy with the search for satisfaction.  It's uncomfortable and panic inducing.  Out of my control like a long, slow slide.

I have run aground.
My face is showing signs of disappointment and disapproval. 
By sheer force of will I lift the corners of my mouth and smile at my children so they do not worry.

I have run aground.
Exhaustion pulls at me and I do not fight it.
I'm encouraged by its strength and sureness.
I realize now that it has always been calling me back.

With each second
A gentle pull
overflowing
A tickle down my side
Aquamarine day dreams
Bright paper lanterns
Warm breath 
Tiny snores
Silky hair like sunshine on my cheek

Something old

My mind
My thoughts
My feelings
My ideas

Every conscious and unconscious choice I make has been done before.
Someone has agonized or celebrated every move.

Consequences feel universal but isolating in the same instant.

I dig deep to find happiness in all of this struggle.

Illuminate                   

I open my eyes to her.
I see what she needs.
I make a plan and follow the steps.

She says, "I love you".
 
I hold tight to what's best for her.
I swallow my need to please.
I don't over do it.

She says, "You're proud of me aren't you mom".

It's a statement, not a question.  She knows the answer.
I watch her self-smile in the rear view mirror.
I stay quiet and let her enjoy her triumph.


J. Tackett (daily prompt by Habit of Being)

Should/Shouldn't  (writing prompt from Amanda at Habit of being)

I should go to sleep when my babies go to sleep.
         eat the leafy greens in my vegetable drawer.
         floss every single night.
         let things go by.
         vacuum my rugs.
         be patient.
         keep working on myself.
         keep knitting.
         finish a painting.
         stop judging.
         focus inward.
         share.
         fulfill promises.
         keep secrets.
         let old wounds heal.
         protect my family.
         make homemade bread.
         mean it when I smile.
         be generous.
         make new friends.
         keep in touch.
         donate.
         make love to my husband.
         walk in the woods.
         plan our next adventure.
         stop planning and start doing.
         celebrate the present.
         cut everyone some slack.